how i love thee dear oakland

i saw a toilet on the side of the road last evening. just sitting there, waiting to be sat on. or teetered on its side. like an ode to marcel duchamp.

this song just gets me

i’m feeling super bummed ever since i came back from NOLA. i know i still need to write my sad entry about it, but my throat gets so full when i even look at the map. anyways, this song (please see “crosses” by jose gonzalez) makes me feel like i can soon write about it. it is a sweetness boiling from pain.

you know when you heat up butter and honey, and it creats this golden froth? that is this song. watching it roll into a slight bubble and at the end licking the frothy spoon you stirred it with. it’s still too hot and you may have burned the tip of your tongue, but it’s worth it. the sweetness wouldn’t be the same any later. just perfect.

lyrics:
Don’t you know that I’ll be around to guide you
Through your weakest moments to leave them behind you
Returning nightmares only shadows
We’ll cast some light and you’ll be alright for now
Crosses all over, heavy on your shoulders
The sirens inside you waiting to step forward
Disturbing silence darkens your sight
We’ll cast some light and you’ll be alright for now
Crosses all over the boulevard
The streets outside your window overflooded
People staring they know you’ve been broken
Repeatedly reminded by the looks on their faces
Ignore them tonight and you’ll be alright
We’ll cast some light and you’ll be alright

p.s. i got my driver’s permit today. my fourth one. i WILL get my license this time.

umbrellas

i have never been able to understand umbrellas because i don’t care if i get wet. umbrellas have always been a mystery to me because i can’t understand why they appear just before it starts to rain. the rest of the time they are vacant from the landscape as if they had never existed. maybe the umbrellas live by themselves in little apartments under tokyo.

do the umbrellas know that it is going to rain? because i know that people don’t know. the weatherman says that it will rain tomorrow but it doesnt and you dont see a god-damn umbrella. then the weatherman says that it will be a sun-shiny day and suddenly there are umbrellas everywhere you look, and a few moments later, it starts raining like hell.

who are these umbrellas?

-richard brautigan

all i know is- that my greeen gingham umbrella is rather photogenic….
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*artsy photo by taylor

i decided what to do with my bracelet that is blue

i took her to the hotel utah saloon in SF:
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she met the famous wooden mermaid…
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she had a drink…
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saw some live music…
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and all with good company…
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thoughting to work

these are things that swarmed my half awake-brain as i rode the NL 20 minutes into dowtown Oakland:

1. i hate wearing my glasses because i feel like it impares my hearing (i finally realized today that this may be absurd)

2. i saw a man, in full winter get up (it was 60 degrees today) standing under a trelis, not moving. he was standing there- hat, coat, scarf, gloves- just standing and looking. i wanted to leap off the bus and poke him. or give him a hug and a handshake.

3. the man whom usually stands outside of my building and hollers songs about love and frank sinatra- hasn’t been there for 4 days. he is there every morning. and today he wasnt. i missed his taught sun burned skin and rain hat. he hates when people look at him.

4. a group of bella vista 8 year olds (i’m talkin 2 dozen) leapt onto the bus and filled the remaining empty seats with their courduroy butts and vinyl bookbags. normally i would cringe and retreat into myself from their sqealing and gregorious hum…but it was actually really beautiful. 24 kids of different shades, heights, haircuts- all having fun together on the bus. just a beautiful sea of children.

5. possibly the most puzzling- i walked one block from my bus stop to my building and passed a metal shopping cart swirling with children’s books. novel soup. i stopped and look intensely at the cart. tried to count the books. seriously contemplating wheeling the cart back to where the children got off the bus. but just kept walking wishing to spend the day handing out picture books to business people swinging their brief cases up and down broadway.

6. what if there was an express train from tokyo to montana?

mystery box (and my cat is chasing his tail)

occasionally my father (male, 54. says i look so much like him that i couldve been “shot outta his ass.”) will send me a small brown papered box pocked with kitten stickers and drawings of mushrooms and other flora. this time, the package had quite a large return label with his address embraced by a large cut out of a tabby kitten. i knew that what was awaiting inside would be nothing short of miraculous. after peeling away 2 layers of Weis grocery bags (avoiding the emitting heavenly light), i find:

. one “a hug from you to me” card complete with decorated envelope, and poem.

. one watch wrapped in plastic. faux alligator band. not ticking.

. about 13 mini “french-milled” soaps wrapped in tissue paper

. 3 unpackaged tooth brushes- yellow, green, and red

. crest whitening toothpaste and floss (mint AND cinnamon)

. seven piece mystery box (two pens, a travel hairbrush/mirror, mini flashlight, scissors, calculator/magnet/clip, and manicure kit)

. a Jehovah’s Witness coming of age book (what i thought would be the gem of the set)
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. AND……….

a Franklin Mint……Collector’s…….Lord of the Rings…..SWITCHBLADE

no joke. it’s amazing. Gandolf slays the golden dragon accents with a heavily detailed sword. there is also a purple jewel nestled into the turret topped grip. this is an amazing addition to my dragon lady pocket watch also given to me by my father.
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a religious puberty book and a knife. brilliant.

what is a girl to do with a bracelet that is blue?

a coworker bought me a lovely accessory while boutique hopping in NOLA> a lovely wrap-around bracelet with dark wooden beads, blue glass beads, and these fun little silver shakin bell things. in high school i was covered head-to-toe in jewelry, but i quickly lost most of my outward sparkle, including a piercing i severely miss. this little, well actually it is rather large, bangle makes me wanna go out and jingle! what’s the problem? i have no idea what to do this weekend. I’m not in NOLA, Emily is out of town (when the cat’s away…), and all i have planned is a nerdy day at the Alternative Press Expo (http://www.comic-con.org/ape/) on Saturday.

what to do what to do….Alley? Ruby Room? i need to meet some people. maybe i will go to the library with my noise making bracelet and make some friends…or enemies as it may be…

my favorite bird

i will WRITE something soon, but until then i will show you why i am inlove with the albatross and why i am practicing their mating dance….

alanis doing fergie?! what?